Addicted to Jesus

I am not sure why this was never published, but it is now. This was wriiten on 1/10/12 I have had an interesting morning. Last night I came to the point where I knew things were out of control. I continued to look at porn, even though I really was just looking for what sites are out there. I told myself that I would not masturbate even though I sort of wanted to. Well after looking at some great soccer and short sites, I couldn't resist and I got my soccer stuff on and then went to town on my cock.3

So then after I came, I read about how to stop and I realized that what I really need to be is addicted to Jesus. I think I am drawn in by this idea of addiction, addiction to pleasure. I have gotten it into my head that somehow being totally addicted to say masturbation or even by extension porn is reaching some higher plain of pleasure, that it is good that I want more that I can keep on experiencing more. I have even read on blogs and forum posts about people's addiction to the bate and how they get stupid on their cocks. This has seemed appealing, especially the term "stupid" as that plays right into the regression tendencies I have.

What I have realized is, and this is hard to accept, is that all of that is a lie. Even if the people who wrote those things really believed them, they themselves are deceived. It even says in the scripture, that God will give them over to their sin and they will be deceived. I have been deceived by Satan. I have believed the lie, because I wanted it to be true. I wanted, and still want really, to reach a level of masturbatory bliss, where it is so incredibly good. But there are problems with this, this is what the lie is all about.

Problem 1: Time. Doing this takes up a lot of your time and even if you are not doing it you are thinking about doing it again. You are on porn sites for hours feeding your lust for more masturbation, further increasing the addiction.
Problem 2: God. Doing this is replacing God and worshiping another in His place. The upshot is that you relationship with Gos is distanced, cold and not real anymore. You are alone and do not feel the power of the Holy Spirit.
Problem 3: