The Manifesto

Short Personal Update:
I plan on doing this informally and in clips and phrases, rather than one decisive comprehensive piece of thought and future policy. I would also never normally take the time to do this on a Saturday night with two movies waiting to be watched from Movie Gallery, but I will remain committed to following through with the deadlines that I am imposing on myself.

So where am I now on the great issue and question of masturbation? Well first off I think it is invaluable to be able to write on this issue when I am not in the guilt phase or the horny phase, but have a clear mind and ability to process what I know and what I need to be doing. I have masturbated today, but compared to what I have been doing only earlier this week, it was a very tame and guiltless exercise of self relief and discharge needed to keep me focused on other more important things. Its best to day that I have undergone something like an amputation of my ability to see and experience whatever I please. I have added an internet filter called Pro Con to my Firefox browser that is free and very effective. I have a password I use to constantly adjust its settings, but I am proud to report that I am no longer going onto penis worship sites or the like and the longer I am away from it, the less hold these things seem to have on me. This is a true blessing and I am really happy to say that this approach seems to be working for the moment.

The deeper issue I am having at this time has to do largely with my future and if I possess the ability to become a husband. Dating is very hard work and I am very frustrated that I lack the inner desire to pursue the girls that have been put into my path. The truth be told, I know I am partly gay, or even bi-sexual, but because of my deeply rooted religious convictions, I am refusing to give into any of that and remain steadfast in either a marriage or celibacy. I pray and hope that I can get through to Jennifer and really want to spend time with her and she me, but it is so hard not being close and not being able to become intimate. I know that God has someone out there for me, I just pray that I can find her and that she would be willing to accept me for who I am as a person.

But all of this having been said, is important for a context in my present journey, but not really for the purpose I have at hand and what I have alluded to in either journal entries-the great manifesto, the final written discourse on masturbation, sex, porn, lust fetishes and all of the likes in between. I have set today as the die date for this manifesto, but I fear that it can not be done in a single day, there is too much to cover and discover in the course of life to ever really be done with such a thing, but I will try my best to take a stab at this and come up with some rough outlines of what this needs to be and what this will be used for.

Purpose and Need:
The manifesto is suppose to take a deeper look, using Scripture, prayer and other resources as determine the ultimate spiritual truths regarding my specific sexual experiences and fetishes. I think there are several valuable resources already in place on the web that I will need to look into to discover this and come to an ultimate understanding.

Resources and Methods:
The method I will use to do this project will be a simple process of reading information specific to the form of sexuality that I deal with and putting these into a Christian context. Everything needs to be backed up with scripture so that there is a true immutable understanding.

Goal:
The arrive with the truth and the application of the truth and from this an ultimate personal policy or target to aim towards for the rest of my life, or until the truth I have revealed is further revealed with deeper truths and thereby enhanced clarity.

Manifesto:
Masturbation has been called a sin by many conservative Christians, although the rub of this is that there is no place in the scriptures where this is called out specifically.

****I understand now, in a moment of clarity I think I have it, God has blessed me just now at 7:48 pm on Saturday, January 10, 2009. Not to take anything away from what I have just written, but in a flash I see the distinctions, I see where I have sinned and where the acceptability of this lies.

1) Lust is when I look at people engaged in sexual acts and I imagine being the participant of that act. This is wrong. Group sex and orgies are wrong.

2) Masturbation used to relieve stress and release is not wrong, this is done naturally or by our own abilities. We have to let out semen to function, otherwise we could cause harm to ourselves.

3) Gear can be worn as a expression of one's desired apparel. Gear as an idol or something that is elevated above God is sin. Know the difference, if the gear is more important than spiritual things, it is an idol.

4) Sexual arousal from gear is okay, if that is what it does. It should not be provoked but endured, the focus needs to not be on sexual relations with other men while in gear or otherwise.

5) Pray for God to bring about the healthy desire for women and marriage and be willing to change as God can change you.

6) Masturbation has a religious rite is wrong. Cock worship of any kind is wrong. Addictive or compulsive masturbation is wrong. Avoid these things and avoid people who glorify these things. It is better to be with the fighters than the losers who are resigned to their own destruction.

7) Constantly read the Bible, in this you will see the truth and God will reveal his character through the scriptures. Do not willing sin.

This is the revelation that has been sent to me now. If there is need to go into this more, I pray that God will lead my heart to do this and dig deeper, but I do not see the need to do this now as I feel I have what I need now to function. Praise be to God!!