My life now, a new direction

I know it has been a long time since I have added an entry to this on line journal. I think not having an old fashioned notebook to write in deters me and I forget that I have this great on-line resource. That having been said, I have needed to journal for a long time now as I leap frog from one crisis to the next, each of varying magnitudes.

Right now my main concern is the practice of my faith and transferring to a new faith community. This has not been an easy transition in the least. It has been emotionally hard to leave my current church for several reasons. Firstly, I fear coming back into contact with the people I would see or better stated, the people I know would know I have been gone. Trying to justify why, after 6 years in their church, that I would just leave. I have an answer ready for them, but I sort of fear the way they would receive it. The bigger concern is not really related to the people of my current church, but more my own personal walk right now. I pray that I am being obedient to Christ in my actions. That my change is not about me, but about where God wants me and where I need to serve him. I did receive something of a sign last Sunday that this is indeed the right choice. This may be some wacky coincidence, but the hymn tune Abbot's Leigh was literally stuck in my head, I had no idea why it got in there or where I heard it. I kept thinking it was just some carry over as I have been diving back into Anglican hymns, as this as been one of the principal driving forces behind my need to switch, the mode of worship is critical to me. Well anyways I had no idea what the hymn was, or its words or anything, but lo and behold at the Gospel reading, what hymn of literally at least 750 hymns out there that is played? Abbot's Leigh, the one that was in my head!

I am thinking that this is more than a coincidence. Could the Holy Spirit have put that tune in my head knowing I would hear it the next Sunday at church? This would be a magnificent sign that God is indeed wanting me to attend the Episcopal Church. I can see why this would be so, the community is so loving, there are opportunities to serve, the worship is so deep and meaningful, and the church does provide the means as really diving into scripture through the readings of the Daily Office. What am I not getting? Expository teaching and the contemporary worship. When I think about it that is all there is at my current church. The people are nice, but I do not have that same sense of community there because of the church's size. When I really think about it, the only thing that did keep me there was my working with the youth and a dear friend's Bible study and now that she attends Episcopal church along with another couple from the Sunday school, I see that the Holy Spirit is moving and working on people in that church. Maybe he has a plan for me there and needs me to be there to lead the sheep?

I am so glad I have made some time to write in this journal. I cannot under estimate its power to help me reflect and process, so much clearer and easier than my own muddled thoughts, which keep going over the same points endlessly. I will pray now to confirm the direction I think I have just now discovered. Obviously more on this will come!