Clocks versus Cocks: Decline into normalcy

BR  .6324045

I definitely sense that I am in a period of decline as far as my masturbatory activity.  This is clearly seen in the data I keep and am very proud of.  My peak for this period, and I believe for the year, was on August 5th with a BR of .65458.  This is higher than anything I achieved last year.  But, as the title of this post indicates, this rate will not likely be attained again, unless I go on some crazy binge, which at the moment, I am not inclined to do.

So what happened?  Well I have just gotten off of a major life roller coaster, where I was not sure if I was going to be moving, the anxiety alone shut down my masturbation--at least for the short term.  I then have had things remarkably stabilize in a way I did not expect, and circumstances at work allowed me to stay on where I am for at least another 5 years.  So then without a move looming, my life was allowed to return to somewhat a normal status, but with this the masturbation desires did not return.  Now don't get me wrong, I have continued to masturbate about once every 2-3 days, but hardly the daily run I was at in the early part of August, before my interview and job offer.

This still does not explain why I have not returned.  I think my interests have just shifted, I have realized that being a full time masturbator is not me, despite what I have written here in the past.  I went ahead and cancelled my bateworld subscription when I came to realize how expensive it was, something like 25 bucks every couple of months, and that does add up.  I kept thinking of the things I could buy with that money, which is the reason for my odd post title.  What on earth do clocks have to do with anything?

Well I could not resist the cleverness of he title, the words only having one letter difference and the relevancy for me is that I am a clock collector, well sort of.  I have a passion for time and time pieces, it goes along with my obsession with the weather and meteorological observations.  Yes, it is true, I am not some super hot athlete who rides motocross all day, despite my aspirations to be like that, I do have another life with hobbies and interests outside of sex and gratification.  So, all this is to say that I have a desire to buy a certain clock on eBay, and well the thought came to me that I am wasting money on a subscription, when I could use that same money for this clock I want to buy.  Seems simple enough, but if you drill down, it shows a shift, a shift away from bateworld and into different hobbies.

I am no longer that interested in bateworld, as I feel I have already explored the site and have not really met anyone there of consequence.  Don't get me wrong though, there are many fine people on that site, but I just feel that its all about masturbation and there is no real opportunity to really know anyone there is a meaningful way.  So why be a member there? I may, in a few weeks, feel differently about all of this, but nothing I do can shed the utter emptiness I feel after cuming on bateworld.  Its just so vapid, I need more.  The excitement of being on that site has worn off, the expectations that I would get something out of the groups has worn off, masturbation addiction has worn off, I am no longer drawn to that leg of my trifecta.  

So from here on out I plan to just masturbate when I feel like I want to, pretty much where I was before and much of my life, you cannot push or restrain it, that is the main lesson I have learned.  It is its own governor. On a clock, the chime is governed by a fly wheel, and that keeps the chime movement in time so it won't chime too slow or fast, so it is the same with masturbation, there is--at least for me-- a built in governor, and your body simply makes it so you have no interest in getting horny when it knows you have had enough.  And even if I want it to go faster, that internal fly wheel will keep me in time.