Who is Adam?

BR  0.56378

I have not made a post like this before.  As I am learning more of you are reading this and have questions.  I love that, by the way.  I feel this is an interactive forum now, not just an on-line diary that no one but me reads.

So what is Adam about?  Well, I am a solo-sexual fetishist.  So what does that mean?  Well, unlike other conventional people, I don't get off on seeing naked girls.  I don't fantasize about having sex.  I literally get excited when I am wearing athletic gear, like sports gear.  Somehow that is what makes me hard.  So I dress up in motocross outfits, or basketball shorts, and wear loose hightops, or some combination, and that transforms me into this sexualized athlete.  I will either jerk off in this gear, or go online to see other guys like me jerking off in the same stuff, or see guys wearing this stuff.  This is why I think I am gay.  It dose not work if I see girls wearing it, it has to be guys.  I have in the last few years taken this a step further and enjoy seeing a guy get a blow job from another guy (but while in gear of some kind)  baseball, soccer, football, basketball, hockey, motocross, or army gear.  Gear that makes a guy a guy... it is a masculine thing for me that is sexual.

Ok, so what about the diapers?  That is a whole different fetish that I ALSO have.  Adam is a complicated dude. This one I can analyze a bit more since I know pretty much why I got into it.  For one, just to get things straight, I don't wear diapers on a daily basis.  I tried that, its more of a pain than its worth.  I am what they call a DL, a diaper lover.  So that means that I get off, or sexually aroused, by wearing a diaper and using them.  I have some AB (adult baby) tendencies, but I don't live out that lifestyle...I find that the weirdest part of it, I started out as a DL, so that is my main thing.  So here's the story.  I was a kid once, as you can guess, and this kid was swimming in a lake and had to pee real, real badly.  He pees in the lake, it felt good, in a weird funny kind of way.  This kid then makes a connection, that he can feel that same weird, good, funny feeling if he pees his pants.  Then he thinks, what if he pees his pants and no one can tell?  He could, wait? wear a diaper!  He goes to grocery store and buys a pack of Huggies with his paper route money, he wears one, he gets off on it, he masturbates for the first time in one, and then...he is hooked--a DL is born...that is how it happened.

On masturbation.  I have gone back and re-read some of my old entries.  Wow, have I changed!  I can see it so well in what I used to say, how I took such an aggressive stance against masturbation.  You may recall in 2010, I posted about changing churches.  When I switched to my new church, my ridged position on masturbation changed and relaxed some, and then I came to the point of total surrender to it.  It felt good to just stop fighting and allow my body what it seeks.  To some degree I am still in that phase now.  My great oscillation is not as severe anymore, I no longer have huge guilt trips and make punitive plans to stop, I really don't see what the point is of that anymore.  I have moved on spiritually to a plane where I see masturbation and all it entails as acceptable.  Maybe I am wrong about that, but that is--nonetheless--where I stand now.  You will note that I had a great weekend in terms of this area of my life, see my BR is up!  hehe!

More later, and guys, keep asking me questions!  I'm glad to oblige.  P.S. Things are slightly better at work.