Moving On...?

Bate Rate:  0.58939

I thought by now I would be over the whole, let's be dumb thing, but it still factors into my deepest sexual desires.  But I must say, as I have been down this road before, I tend to over estimate the real power of hypnosis.  I spend the majority of the evening looking at forum posts from a person on WWM site to see how he may have been affected by listening to several files that got me off for the exact reason because I thought they had some kind of permanent effect, they don't, or at least those who continue to post on the site are not effected by them, they move onto other files and interests, as if the effect of the file was not even relevant.  I must say that this is comforting to me, because even though I was so drawn to this sexually, the reality is far less effectual.  We can't just unlearn things by what we listen, and if we do, it seems to only be temporary and highly variable based on who is listening and how suseptable they are to hypnosis.  One thing I will also add before I head to bed, all of this has made me acutely aware of my own learning disability, in a way I am already dumb when I am compared to someone else's standards, so if I think about that shouldn't that be enough to make me feel good about it? Just something to ponder, for me so much of this is not your present state, but the reality that you know you have been changed and that you have lost some kind of control or understanding of your world, that you have become dumb and that feels good as a basis of comparison to your "normal" level.

I purposely did not correct any of my spelling errors, nor do I have the ability to correct them on my own without the spell check...and I know I have two in here with the squiggily red line, to prove I don't know it all, I need to feel "good" for that, but somehow it's just not the same?